Sometimes it requires a while to build up the courage and momentum to do something positive about your weight. So when you make the leap finally, you want all the support you can get. Often the food bully can pop up in the most improbable circumstances. Whoever she actually is, one thing is for sure; she’s an expert in pressing the guilt trip control keys.
What do you mean you’re not hungry? After ALL the work I devote! Would you be killed by it to show some gratitude because of this meal I’ve prepared? I slaved ALL day! You’d better eat it if not! Why do people become Food Bullies? On many levels, food and eating are extremely emotional subjects because most people associate the preparation sharing, and provision of food with love and comfort.
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Many moms show love to their children by cooking food them lovely goodies and sharing food is one of the very most enjoyable pastimes together. So it makes sense that a person may feel rejected personally by you if you decline their offer of a home cooked meal or a special treat that is prepared with a labor of love.
Kate came to me with a real dilemma; weekly she would visit her parents. Her mother was a great cook and before, ‘Kate’ had always relished the large, delectable banquets that her mum took great care to get ready. But things were now starting to get awkward, because ‘Kate’ was torn between upsetting her mom and sticking with her weight-loss program.
Kate was so mounted on keeping her mother happy that she often ate when she was not hungry or find the foods that have been not consistent with her weight reduction goals. Subsequently she started to gain the weight she had proved helpful so hard to release. Just what exactly was ‘Kate’s problem? Was it her mother?
No. You observe, ‘Kate’ was a people-pleaser. She was so scared of confrontation that she often do things she didn’t wish to accomplish, to keep the peacefulness just. The problem with her mum was just the tip of the iceberg. It became clear to me that Kate and I had a need to do some serious assertiveness work, and we did this she found herself back again on track once.
The very good news is; you don’t need to become a slave to the Food Bullies in your life. Understanding how to say no is vital sometimes, and good for your relationships generally really. What about the ‘Food Bully’ who would like a partner in crime? When you begin to lose excess weight, you might find that the dynamics of your close human relationships change. Dana was always known as the ‘funny, fat friend’ among her peers.
When she started to lose weight and get attention from the men, a few of her so called ‘friends’ did not such as this one little bit. She found herself being plied with chocolate croissants, donuts, and chocolate. Once again I make the idea; know who your friends are. Ditch the jealous artificial friends.