Buying a premium heat pump hot water system is exactly like buying a four-thousand-dollar espresso machine. You tell yourself it is an investment in a better life, a way to reclaim your mornings from the mediocre, burnt-bean sludge of the local petrol station.
You research the bar pressure. You learn about the PID controller that regulates temperature to the decimal point. You take photos of the stainless steel beast sitting on your benchtop and send them to the family group chat.
And then, later, you realize you haven’t backflushed the group head or descaled the boiler once. You have treated a complex hydraulic machine like a toaster.
A Cold Tuesday in Berwick
It is a in Berwick, the kind of where the air feels like it has been sharpened to a point. Michael is standing in the narrow side passage of his house, the one where the bins live and the weeds grow through the blue metal gravel.
He is holding a Maglite torch between his teeth, squinting at a weather-worn sticker on the side of a massive, sleek heat pump unit. This was his pride and joy . At a dinner party, he’d actually pulled